So, here it is...my first post in about a year and a half. Yes, that is a long gap indeed...and if I were to sit down and analyse what all has happened in these intervening days to make me stay away from writing - well, the answer would be, a lot, and also, not much at all!
For the big picture largely remains unchanged - I am still (largely) the same person (give or take a couple of pounds :P); I still work in the same law firm; I still hang out with mostly the same set of friends; I still ask a thousand questions a minute; I still smile from the heart; I still get angry and then calm down in a jiffy, and I am still looking for something (or someone) to make my world go around :)
Yet, the details have certainly changed - there are some strands of grey in what once used to be a thick mop of black hair - strands that, one hopes, symbolise wisdom; there are wrinkles marking experiences, heartbreaks, eureka moments et al. that I have lived through; and most importantly, there is the slow but relentless changing of the world around me, which colours my perception of things and people on a basic, day-to-day level. Foremost among them has been the failing health of the old folks, which has brought on the very unsettling realisation that somewhere along the way, quietly, and without me realising it, the tables have turned - they have gone from being my pillars of strength to the ones who need the support, while I, the baby of the family, now suddenly find myself to be the pillar they lean on.
In the midst of it all, is a question that has increasingly been clamouring for an answer, and which I have, rather determinedly, pushed to the farthest recesses of my mind, but can't, any longer....the question being, is that all that was supposed to be? What am I working towards? What is the point of all this travelling on the highway called life, if there is no destination to reach? Or is it the journey itself that matters?
When I read what I just wrote, it all seems very fanciful, all big words and self-important mumbo-jumbo. But this is something that has been mercilessly bothering me for at least the past year....where am I headed? What is the purpose of my life? What makes me happy? And most importantly, what makes me tick?
Someone whose wisdom I've come to value in the short time that I've known him, summed it up rather well when he said that all of us go through this at varying points in our lives, when somewhere the numbers don't stack up any more, and we're left with this feeling of emptiness... It is at this stage, he said, that we either make peace with life as we currently know it, or strive to break free and discover ourselves as people we never knew....
Maybe, it's time for me to discover the person I never knew myself to be...
But maybe I'll delve into that question after I have discovered what Deepika Padukone is like in her latest outing as a girl from Tamil Nadu, and what SRK is like when he plays his age...yes, I have a date with the Chennai Express in about an hour...do I see you there?
But maybe I'll delve into that question after I have discovered what Deepika Padukone is like in her latest outing as a girl from Tamil Nadu, and what SRK is like when he plays his age...yes, I have a date with the Chennai Express in about an hour...do I see you there?
