It's that time of the year again...

It just seems like yesterday that we ushered in 2009. Though it was a quiet celebration, because I was still recovering from a relapse of malaria, it was all that a celebration looks like in my mind...friends, family (well, almost, it was T's family and her house, and that sort of qualifies), good food, a long adda session...all in all, a great time.

And zap, it's time to usher in 2010 already!

As I get into the festive mood, the kind of looked forward to, but not really eagerly anticipated, year end contemplation begins to make its presence felt. It is something that has become a sort of tradition in the past three Christmases that I have spent in the city...where I look back at the year gone by and thank the people who have made the year memorable. This ritual has great significance for me, because it is my way of creating a family out of friends in this city where I have no relatives and no family to fall back upon. Some of these people are friends from college, some others who I met here, but all of them are today an integral part of my life.

Festivals, for me, have always been associated with traditions. This ritual is also my attempt at creating traditions and establishing a familiar pattern in this phase of life on my own.

And then, of course, there's New Year's eve...unlike most people I know, I do not have any plans in place yet to bring in the New Year. So what does someone, who's not interested in braving maddening traffic after work on the last day of the year to squeeze into a smokey place filled with people packed like commuters in rush hour traffic in a Churchgate bound local from Virar, do? Dunno yet, but we'll discover the answer in the course of tomorrow :) Of course, Nuts has invited a bunch of us over to her place tomorrow for a house party with the promise of making waffles on New Year's morning, before I leave for the airport to get to Cochin for a dear friend's wedding. Yeah, I know, is she sweet or what!      

And of course, somewhere in between, there is packing to be done for the trip, work to be finished and resolutions are to be made (and hopefully, stuck to, this time around!) On that note, time for me to sign off now...wish you and yours a very happy new year!

PS. On that note, have often wondered, is there anyone out there, who's reading all that is the outcome of me pouring my heart out on (virtual) paper? Anyone at all? If so, it'd be nice if you gave me a holler, if only to return my sincere wish! :)

Until I am ready to pour my heart out again in the new year....

Toodles!

Change in the offing

Yes, gentle reader...change is in the offing. And no, I am not talking about the imminent change of year and decade that is a mere 10 days away (though that too has had a role to play in the change that this post is about).

The change that I talk about is the change in the layout, design, title and theme of this blog. The ongoing process of change, I would like to believe, mirrors, to a certain extent, the change that's happening with moi. Why this sudden spouting of philosophy, you ask? Well hang in there, and you shall be told all in the more detailed post that follows on this topic. But the long and short of it is that I have often wondered what to write about, given that there is so much that I have wanted to say at any given point of time. So now, I have decided to streamline things a little and in this blog, focus on the life of the single, footloose and fancyfree in urban India.

Over the past four years or so, having met several young people staying away from home by choice and totally enjoying the experience, as well as the freedom, trials, tribulations and reality check(s) that come with it, I suppose it's time to reach out to others like us, and what better mode that this...so hang on tight, 'coz we're ready to take off!

Happy reading!

For my girlfriends

So there I was the other day, hard at work in office, when I got a call from a friend, Puru. After the customary, "Oh it's been so long, how've you been?", "Bhalo, tor khobor ki (I'm good, what news at your end?)", Puru told me the reason she called...she was leaving. She'd put in her papers at work and was set to leave the city in another two weeks. We promised to catch up that evening at Tea Centre, one of our favourite after-work hangouts, but Cyclone Phyan played spoilsport and we decided to postpone the catch-up session.

About ten days later, R, another member of the girl gang ("GG" for future reference) and a dear friend from day one of college, called to say that she and another friend, AD, had already decided to host Puru's farewell at my pad and had also informed other GG members accordingly...and since it had struck her only now that she'd omitted to tell me about it, she thought she should let me know. "Sweet!", I thought....but said "Sure...I'm game!"

So there we were, three days later, on a Saturday evening at my place, much confusion and delay later, all GG members, including A, who's recently moved base to Bengaluru and was in town by chance. I looked around at the circle of my girlfriends, all chattering at the same time and animatedly discussing varied topics ranging from Lux Perfect Bride to supernatural experiences to in-laws to other GG members in other cities...ALL at the same time, when we all realised that this scene, which was such a regular occurence during chilly winter nights in hostel that we took it for granted, had become a rarity in the hustle and bustle of life today. About the only time all of us managed to get together was to host a bachelorette party for someone who was getting married, or to bid farewell to someone who was switching jobs, and cities. We'd met a fair number of times for such occassions in the past couple of years...

When we'd come to Mumbai, excited young lawyers fresh out of college and still wet behind the ears, we'd been a huge group of about 15...today we stand at just about 5 people who are regularly in touch with each other. Yet despite these dwindling numbers these girls formed the backbone of my social support system in the city, my family in the absence of blood relatives. And despite the physical distance, each one of them is only a phone call away.

I realise that this post, which originally started out being my two bits on the place of friends in one's life, is turning totally sappy, and I am revealing myself to be a true blue mush pot, but what the hell, these amazing girls deserve all of it...here's to all my girlfriends...I love you all!

Of chicken soup and motivation

They've come out with another book in the "Chicken soup" series....Chicken Soup for the Indian teenager's soul...and the buzz is that there are several more in the pipeline already. In fact, if the buzz is to be believed, in the not too distant future, we will have chicken soup made to order for the Indian mother's soul, the diabetic's soul, and the Lord alone knows who else's soul.

Speaking of the books themselves, I have to admit I haven’t read too many of them…truth be told, I’ve managed to half-read only about half of one, Chicken Soup for the Indian soul. (No, that was not a mistake…I did say half-read half a book, ergo, I have, till date, managed to half-heartedly go through half of one book in the series). To be fair, the fact that I was only half-heartedly reading this book may be easily attributed to the fact that I was simultaenously reading The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor, which I found positively unputdownable (more on that in another post), while the Chicken Soup book continued to remain in my bag for reading in the train en route to work largely because I hate leaving books unfinished.

There can be no denying that the Chicken Soup series has its own fans, and I am sure several of them will rise to its defence if I were to say that my impression, based on my limited reading so far, is that the stories featured in the book are a little on the sappy side...well, I'll reserve my judgment till I actually finish reading the book (Yes, I am yet to finish it.)

But what struck me is not the book itself, but the genre to which it belongs...the genre of the motivational book. If one saunters into any bookstore worth its salt today, one is more likely than not to come across an entire section in the book store devoted to motivational books, or its first cousin, the self help book. Some stores, instead of restricting themselves to the narrow category of motivational books, prefer to club together a larger variety, resulting in an eclectic, and almost always interesting, mish mash of motivational books, self help books and books on self- improvement/ self- enlightenment/ self-awareness. And if the sale of books in this section is anything to go by, it would appear that there are a lot of people out there who need motivation, help and guidance in navigating their way through their experiences, careers, relationships and lives...

For starters, the surge in the sale of motivational books has me wondering whether we, as a generation, are facing a serious lack of motivation at large. To what else could one attribute the fact that to add to mid-life crisis, for instance, a significant chunk of the adult population is also facing what has been termed by experts as the “quarter-life crisis” – a situation where after having doggedly followed a dream or an ambition to make it big, land that plum job or secure admission in that foreign university for the longest time, once the said goal has been achieved, a vast section of today’s youth in urban India, find themselves floundering and hunting for inspiration to continue. The trend of succesful professionals who’ve quit their myriad succesful (and mostly corporate) jobs to take up something that makes them happy…ranging from painting, to travel and tourism to cooking to scuba diving, while a most heartening trend, also begs a question that could well be the corollary to the theme of this post, ergo, why would people want to take on or stick to jobs that do not motivate them? The answers to the question could be many, ranging from the paypacket (sad but true) to complacence, to more recently, the economic downturn, which makes it a wise decision to stick to a job one may not absolutely love, but which is comfortable and secure.

So how does one really describe this elusive yet all important emotion we call motivation? Does it mean (to put it in cliched terms) jumping out of bed every morning, ready to take on the world, face new challenges and emerge the winner in all circumstances? Does it mean (figuratively) bobbing up and down all over the place and trying to put one’s finger in as many pies as possible?

I would think all the above may be better employed to describe enthusiasm rather than motivation, and therefore the attitude typically exhibited by someone new to something. Ask me, been there done that. But what happens when the initial enthusiasm wears off? Also, given that not all of us may have been blessed in that we’ve discovered our true calling and are doing something that we honestly feel deeply about, how does one keep the motivation from lagging? Is motivation really something that can be conjured at will, or is it something that is inherently present in some and lacking in the others? Or again, is it that over time, our understanding of motivation has become straitjacketed, inasmuch that only certain qualities are taken as being indicative of motivation while everything else is not? Questions, questions and some more questions, none of which I have a ready answer to…

On a related note, another thing worth a thought would be the outcome of reliance solely on motivational books…for instance, A senses lack of motivation in himself (or herself) and while wondering what to do about it, saunters into a bookstore, comes across a book on motivating oneself, browses through it and decides that this book was written with him (or her) in mind and is therefor the panacea for all his (or her) problems. Having bought the book and after trying to implement the suggestions contained therein, A waits for the miracle to happen, when A will feel motivated and supercharged to take on anything that life throws his (or her) way…nothing happens, and A is further disillusioned, thinking that maybe his problem is beyond help, when really, no help has been sought at all. Is this therefore a vicious cycle?

I wonder whether it is ironical that in a country which frowns on a visit to the shrink for help, motivational and self help books enjoy robust sales, or whether it is because we as a nation frown on approaching an “outsider” for help, no matter how qualified the “outsider” may be, that we turn to other sources like motivational books, which may or may not address the issue at hand? For what else is a motivational book, if not self –medication, loosely translated. And in all probability, it comes with the attendant side effects of self medication as well…

The house is open for discussion…

Hunger

I am hungry right now...one of my colleagues would typically respond to that with a "So, when are you not?" Well...that's not true! (At least not entirely :-) ) True, am always game to try anything that I haven't tried before (well, mostly) and I generally do not refuse a genuine offer to share food...especially when it comes from one of my colleagues in this old style law firm with Bawa (colloquial for Parsis) associations where I work...though please note the use of the qualifier "genuine"...

As an aside, Parsis, much like my community of birth, the Bangalis, live their life surrounded by food...food, and discussions about food, form an integral part of the life of any self respecting Bawa, and this attitude tends to seep into you, even if you are not a Bawa, but are only surrounded by them at all times.The best examples in this regard would perhaps be the colleagues I mentioned earlier...as the story goes, no one in my office, at any point of time, says no to food. Any refusal to at least taste food offered by another at the lunch table is immediately followed by concerned queries of the nature of "Why? What happened? You not feeling good? Stressed at work?" This, coupled with the general bonhomie at the lunch tables in the terrace of the Office is also part of the charm here...a rare place where everyone starting from partner to lowly intern sits across the table and shares their lunch with the others on that table.

But I digress. This post today is not about the Office, nor about the colleagues, and not even about food...it is, on the contrary, about lack of food.

As I just mentioned, I am hungry. And I am looking forward to reaching home and cooking myself a nice, hot meal. Ordinarily, I would impatiently chop vegetables, soak rice and dal, change and freshen up somewhere between taking out the cooker, placing it on the burner, putting the tadka and turning on the television for my daily dose of Discovery Travel and Living/ NDTV Good Times/ music/ news...just about managing to hang in there till the food was done and on my plate. But what, as the thought suddenly struck me, if there was no hot food to look forward to? What if I was hungry but I didn't know where my next meal was coming from? Or if I had food in front of me, but was forced to choose not to eat it, rather saving it for my children waiting for me?

What would it be like to be actually hungry, I wonder? I mean, hungry not because I had to skip lunch today because of a series of meetings lined up through the day, but because I have not had a morsel to eat for the past four days? In this day and world where we are constantly bombarded with advertisements, endorsements and such like containing or about food, where mounthwatering food from across the globe is a mere phone call and 30 minutes (or even less) away, I wonder how many of us have actually experienced hunger...not to sound holier-than-thou or champion for the downtrodden, only because it's fashionable to be so, but as a genuine question.

I, speaking for myself, have not...and I do not know how feasible it is to try and put myself in the shoes of a genuinely hungry person by foregoing food for the next four days...for the purpose still does not get served. Even if I abstain from food for a predetermined period, I still know that I have ready access to food on the other side of that time period (or even during it, for that matter)...for me, it is just a question of wilful abstinence.

What is therefore, perhaps feasible, is to try and find a way to ensure that even someone who is genuinely hungry has access to food - like a place a person can go to when really hungry, assured of getting food (and not losing dignity in the process of getting that food). Sure, there are charitable organisations which undertake this activity on a much more regular basis and on a larger scale than I can even imagine, the Iskon temple at Juhu being the first name that comes to mind in this context...but where is the aam admi (or aurat, to be politically correct) on the road like me involved in the process? Is sustainable charity or concern for another the exclusive preserve of politicians or those who have renounced the world?

At this juncture, one may ask how the involvement of the aam admi in the process will result in any effective contribution or significant difference, for the issue is far larger than one or even several 'me's are capable of addressing, and especially because we all have come across at least one instance of an initiative begun with honest and commendable intentions, but which has fizzled out somewhere along the way, either because the enterprise requires too much time and effort, which an average Joe (or Jane) with a day job and possibly a family to take care of, may not be able to afford, or it is simply not sustainable...but I suppose a thought stands for something...and given appropriate effort, may translate into action, not at a grand scale maybe, but at a smaller scale, one that I could sustain over time...at least, it can't hurt to try.

Will keep you posted on what happens thereafter...as the train pulls into the station, it is time to pack the laptop and head home...where hot food awaits me...didn't I tell you I was hungry? :-)

Three years at work

Been a while since my last (and first :-)) post...was at a loss for inspiration..until the other day, when I got chatting with a colleague. Sweet girl, this colleague of mine, and as nutty as nutty can be...so we'll call her Nuts.

So that's what it is about today...my colleagues at work and my workplace itself. Surprising choice of topic? Not really, given as a large part of my waking hours are spent here...However, a description of the exact nature of my work is something that will take more than a couple of lines, and is therefore something I will reserve for a later post...after having lost count of the number of times I've been at the receiving end of uncomprehending, incredulous stares when I've told people that I am a corporate lawyer, ergo, a lawyer who does not go to court, I have given up trying to explain my work in a couple of lines.

But to get back to the topic at hand, it's been approximately three and a half years since I first walked in through the main doors with Ma and Baba, who wanted (a) to see where I would be working and (b) to speak with the Boss, to request him to take care of their lil girl in the big bad world outside. I distinctly remember being torn between indignation and feeling touched about the purpose behind the parents' visit at that time. Really now, one part of me had wanted to say, while the other part was super thrilled about Baba's rare display of concern for his (in his eyes) little princess.

Didn't manage to meet the Boss (who was away for a meeting), but met the Big Bosses, who took turns to scare Baba about how I would, in the future, run off for modelling assignments while lying to him about how I was working hard in office :-) before proceeding to assure him that I would be well taken care of, while I looked on incredulously, trying hard to maintain a straight face becoming of a young go getter who knew where she was headed in life.

Meeting done, I was ushered to my workstation by the recruiting partner. Was delighted to discover that I would be sitting next to a guy I had kind of become friends with during the time I was here as an intern (I had interned here the year before, before I finally joined) and was especially touched when I found out that he had arranged for it so that my work station was next to his, so that he could be around during my transition from wide eyed awe struck fresher to someone who at least had a faint idea of what was happening around her :-) and generally see me through any teething trouble that I may face.

That's when I felt this warm, fuzzy feeling growing within me about this new place that was my workplace and this whole new bunch of people who were the sweetest, most helpful bunch of guys around. I know that sounds really cliched and agonizingly similar to the mush that most freshers spout about their respective workplaces, but for me, after over three years, countless conversations/ fights/ differences of opinion with my colleagues, the statement stands. Of course, there've been innumerable ups and downs in the intervening three and a half years, but those are separate stories for another post.

Over time, I've come to realise that commitment and passion for work are all very well, but having a good workplace to walk into every morning goes a long way in helping one retain one's enthusiasm for their work.

And then of course, there's the office itself...located in an old building near Kalaghoda at Fort close to the Bombay High Court and the imposing building that is the Mumbai University, the place exudes a lovely old world charm, that had me captivated from first sight.

So that, in a nutshell, was a description of a crucial part of my life and identity in this city. Will gradually introduce, over time, several more people who've touched my life in various ways, big and small, in this place. But for now, it is time to stop and get back to reading an agreement as a part of a due diligence exercise. What's that, you ask? Well, it's just one of the many things we corporate lawyers do for a living...details to be given later, in another post. Watch this space!

Tentative first steps!

After much consideration and deliberation, I have finally decided to take the plunge...of creating my own blog. I have, for long, resisted the urge to blog, for several reasons - that I am a private person, do people really have the time or the inclination in this frenzied world to read what other people have to say, who really wants to read about what I think anyways, etc. etc. But today, I am a convert...

Blogs, and blogging, seem to have captured the world's imagination like never before! It is quite something to behold the flow of thoughts, the amazing articulateness of the bloggers and the passionate zeal with which they advocate their pet causes. It really is miraculous how people in different parts of the world reach out and connect through the blogosphere on a one-to-one basis over a universal human emotion or occurence. I remember reading a blog by a well loved blogger, about her mother's impending visit to her (till then) bachelorette pad (am not really tech savvy, else would have posted a link...it really is a gem! Promise to put up a link as soon as i can figure out how) and the commiseration by fellow bloggers and followers all over the world! Reminds me of a good old adda session, to use a typically Bengali term - basically a discussion about nothing in particular, where people get together and talk about anything and everything under the sun, where the discussion expands to include friends, friends of friends, and then their friends, and where soon enough, anyone who has an opinion on anything has an attentive, interactive audience...and the best takeaway of all this? the friends you make...

Closer home, I think one of the best examples of the blogospere getting people closer together is an initiative called India Helps, started by a blogger and a concerned citizen. This initiative, initially meant to bring together people who wanted to do something concrete after the 26/11 Mumbai attacks, has now blossomed into a full fledged organisation, comprised of an army of well meaning, earnest individuals bound together by their common belief in a society that is truly more equal. Being a part of this amazing organisation makes me proud, the power of the blogospere in getting so many like minded people together humbles me and makes me a believer, and now, also a convert! :-)

There, that wasn't too short for a first post, was it?